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I get asked ALL THE TIME how I am able to be a stay at home mom. So – how were we able to do it? Today I’m going to share 11 tips on how to become a SAHM for dummies.
{First, I want to let you know that the title is not meant to be rude in any way. A girlfriend and I were talking, and she jokingly said she wishes there were a “class” people could take because she also gets asked how she stays home on a regular basis. Hence, the idea for this post! 😉 }
1. Prioritize
Chances are that when you go down to just one income, you’re going to have to prioritize your expenses. Cutting back may mean just getting rid of the annual trip to Vegas, or it could be something smaller like cutting out your daily latte habit. Either way – look at things in your life and prioritize them. I could make more money working online, but I choose to spent more time with our son. Both time and money are things you’ll need to prioritize to determine what is right for your family.
2. Spend Wisely
Now that you’ve prioritized, there’s a good chance you’re going to have to cut back on your spending or find ways to make more money. What spending “wisely” looks like will differ for each person. For you, it may mean cutting coupons each week. Or perhaps you’ll plant your own garden to provide a lot of your family’s food.
We meal plan to ensure we don’t spend too much on groceries each week. You may even want to go a step further and cut out cable. Yes, it saves you money, but it also cuts out temptation. If you don’t see advertisements, you’re less likely to want to buy.
Thrift stores and rummage sales may become another option. But if you feel the need to buy new, you can at least scour the sales racks. Buy off brand food items. Stay in and cook a homemade meal instead of going out. There are many great ways to save money to help make your budget work.
3. Enjoy Family Time
There’s a very good chance if you’ve chosen to become a stay-at-home-mom that you’re wanting to spend more time with your children and be there for your family. So this step should be easy! But make sure to spend time with your family each and every day. This is especially important if you work from home. Sometimes it’s hard to put the work aside and spend time with your husband and children.
4. Do Something For Yourself
Make sure you have something to do for yourself. This could be taking a 15 minute walk each day, having a girls night out once a month, or even just getting a hot shower to yourself. For me, it’s going scrapbooking with family and friends a few times a year. It gives me a chance to get away, enjoy some quiet time, and unwind. Find something you enjoy as a SAHM and make sure you do it as often as you can!
5. Be Flexible
There’s one thing I love about being home that I wasn’t prepared for – the flexibility! I can schedule a doctor’s appointment without worrying about getting a substitute teacher at school. Or I can go visit my parents for an extended weekend without needing to use my personal time at work. The downside to this flexibility? People often think I’m just sitting around as a SAHM waiting for them to call me. On a few occasions, people have even thought I could run their errands for them because I have so much “free time”. I’ve had to put out some ground rules for people. I wasn’t ready for that.
6. Don’t Expect Perfection
Now that you’ve mastered flexibility, it’s also time to realize you’re not going to be perfect. Just because you’re home full time, that does not mean you need a perfectly clean home, a Pinterest-perfect craft each day, and a fabulous five-course meal on the table each night for supper. When I first started staying home, I thought I had to do it all and be it all. HA! Since letting that theory go, I’m so much happier!
7. Make Mom Friends
Contrary to what some believe (and yes, I’ve truly had people ask me this!), stay-at-home-moms do not sit around watching soap operas and eating bon-bons. We are busy! Find other moms who can understand. Join a local MOPS group. Even if you just have a mom or two to reach out to via text or Facebook message, keep them around!
8. Get Used to an Audience
Cooking. Cleaning. Peeing. Plan to have an audience. Enough said.
9. Ask for Help
There’s going to come a time when you’re overwhelmed. Make sure to enlist help. You may need someone to clean your house, cook a meal, or just watch the kid/s for a few hours. Reach out. Ask for help. You are not superwoman, and that’s ok.
10. Ignore the Negativity
You’re going to have people who question why you stay home. They may not understand why you gave up a great teaching/administrative career. And, honestly – that’s ok. You need to be happy with your decision to stay home. Don’t let one naysayer, or an entire room full of them, dissuade you from being home with your children. You can never get this time back! Enjoy every moment of your SAHM journey. 🙂
11. Have an Answer
Through every day conversation, you’re going to be asked what you do. It’s nice to have a canned response ready to say. Keep it as vague or go into as much detail as you like. Many will be supportive of your decision to stay home. You’ll get a few eye rolls, some people will tell you they’re jealous, and others will flat out scoff at you. Remember this is your decision (well, yours and your spouses!), so don’t let these comments get to you!
There you have it – my 11 tips for “dummies” – like me! – who want to become a stay-at-home-mom. Honestly, you just need to dive in. I may only be one year into this amazing journey, but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world! There are hard days, but getting to spend so much time with my amazing son makes it all worthwhile!!
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