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Looking back at our marriage preparation classes I have nothing but good things to say! I know many people go into them skeptical, or they don’t go to them at all. But today I want to share with you why I think the benefits of marriage preparation classes greatly outweigh the time you put into them.
Let me start by saying we were required to attend marriage prep classes. We could have gone into them with a horribly bad attitude. However, we kept an open mind. I’m so glad we did! Here are the marriage preparation benefits Andrew and I experienced:
1. We were forced to communicate.
Now the word forced seems a little harsh, but hear me out. Andrew and I attended a marriage preparation weekend. We each had our own workbook to go through. One of the two lead couples would speak, then we were given 15 minutes to write. After that, we had a minimum of 30 minutes in our own room with just the two of us to discuss the topic at hand. During those 30 minutes we either had to sit and stare at each other or communicate. Many of the topics that the leaders brought up over the weekend had already been topics of conversation by the two of us, but it was still a great way to ensure we were on the same page and going into our marriage with a strong foundation.
2. We had to look at the future.
When you plan on marrying someone, it’s important to look at the future. {Duh, right!?} This seems obvious, yet as young, unmarried people, you don’t always know exactly what to talk about because you don’t know what the future holds. The questions asked in the workbook and by the sponsor couples helped us talk about how we might handle hardships down the road.
3. We looked at our finances.
Andrew and I have been together (dating and marriage) over four years when this blog post went live. We have known where almost every penny the other has made goes. However, I’ve learned that we are the exception and not the rule. There are many couples out there who have been married for years that don’t talk about money. I personally know one couple who went backrupt, and the wife had no idea until they foreclosed on the house. I realize every couple handles finances differently, and that’s fine. However, it’s still a conversation that needs to be had! And if you can communicate about money before you hear those wedding bells, that’s better.
4. We talked about kids.
This was another one of those areas we had already discussed, but it really helped solidify our plans for the future. I have some unique blood clotting condition that makes pregnancy more difficult and risky. The questions posed during the weekend had us reflect on God’s plan for children, how His plan and our thoughts could mesh, as well as what we might do if we ran into infertility issues. We were also taking a natural family planning course through the Couple to Couple League, so this discussion built on what we were already learning and discussing.
5. We grew personally.
When we walked away from the marriage retreat weekend, we both agreed that we had grown a great deal as individuals. We felt better about our relationship with God, and we felt better about our relationship with one another. This, in turn, helped give us a more positive self image.
6. We were focused on just us all weekend.
When is the last time you spent an entire weekend with your significant other? It’s a great feeling to be close and communicating for an extended period of time with no distractions. No TV, internet, or even cell phones. It was just us with a focused set of questions that helped us grow in our relationship to one another and God.
7. We got closer to one another.
After a full weekend of talking, listening, and maybe a few tears on my part, how could we not be closer to one another? We had a few arguments in those two days, but we found answers and peace. That weekend really solidified our love for one another, and we walked away even more excited for our upcoming wedding day. This was probably the biggest marriage preparation benefit we experienced.
8. We got closer to God.
This last point may not be important to everyone, but it was extremely important to us as a couple. Over the course of the weekend we grew in faith together. Having a great relationship with the one we love and intend to marry and God? It doesn’t get much better than that!
The benefits of marriage preparation classes may be different for everyone, but these were the ones we experienced. Andrew and I can not recommend marriage preparation classes more! As long as you go in with an open mind, you’re going to benefit! Your faith will thank you. Your future spouse will thank you. Your marriage will thank you. And you will be left thanking God.
This post is linked up with Classical Homemaking
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Great read, Heather! We did this 23 years ago. We took a quiz that told us that our strong point was communication. At times over those 23 years we have done better than at other times 🙂 But we were able to go back and remember that in the beginning we were good at and that we needed to get back to communicating like we did before. Stuff like that is good to know, and even better to remember