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Should You Stick It Out? The Two Week Relationship Test

February 15, 2016

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“He’s driving me crazy! I’m not sure how much longer I can do this,” I vented to my best friend.

“Are you really that unhappy?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I’m just so mad right now, and I know I’ve been mad at him for the last few days. Why can’t he just figure it out?”

This is basically the conversation that played out between my best friend and I after about a year of dating my then-boyfriend. I was seriously contemplating ending the relationship. It seemed like every day he was doing little things to purposely annoy me. Yet something kept me hanging on, and I couldn’t figure out what it was.Are you unhappy about your relationship? Take the two week relationship test to help you dive into what might actually be the problem!

“Are you willing to try something?” Sheri asked me.

“Anything! I just want to be happy!” I basically shouted.

“Great! For the next two weeks I want you to keep a little journal of sorts. Anytime you are frustrated with Andrew, draw a frown face with exactly what is wrong written beside it.”

“Ok, that sounds easy enough,” I thought.

“On the good days, draw a little smiley face. Elaborate on why it was good if you’d like. Within a couple weeks I bet you’ll see a pattern, and that will help you know what to do with your relationship.”

I was willing to try anything. It felt like our relationship was going nowhere, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stick it out. Why was he doing everything he could to drive me crazy? Why was I so unhappy? I had to give it a shot.

Each night for the next two weeks, I wrote down a smiley or frowny face on a piece of paper. (Super high tech here! HA!) Sometimes I jotted down a little note about the day.

Do you want to know what I realized at the end of those two weeks? Andrew wasn’t the problem and our relationship wasn’t the problem. I was the problem!

What a harsh wake up call!

The little things that were driving me crazy? They basically didn’t exist. I was hanging on to one little thing he would do, for weeks at a time, therefore making me unhappy day in and day out! When I focused on what had actually happened that day, I realized he had done everything he could to make me happy – made supper, cleaned up, spent time with me, and more. How could I complain about that?! Yes, we had an occasional small argument about something, but we were able to talk it out.
In those two weeks I kept the happy and frowny face log, there was only one frowny face. And honestly, two years later – I don’t even remember what it was about. So clearly it was not all that important!
This little “test” helped me to realize that I had a great guy! When he proposed a few months later, I was overjoyed!
If you are finding yourself in an unhappy relationship, try the little two week “happy or frowny” test. Now I’m not suggesting this if you are in an incredibly  unhealthy or abusive relationship. Those are different! But if you’re just not sure what’s going on and need to find out, spend two weeks and find out. You’ll be forced to evaluate the relationship and you’ll probably learn some surprising things from it – whether those things are about you, your significant other, or your relationship as a whole. It worked well for me, and I’m sure it can do the same for you!
Thank you, Sheri! You helped me more than you’ll ever know!

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Filed Under: dating, Friendship

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